February 5th. I had come back from a crazy fun and full weekend in Alabama with my youngest on the evening of Sunday, February 4th. I spent Monday catching up on work and was almost done with my workout at 5pm when my cell rings. I could see the name was my father in law’s neighbor and my heart sank. She said, “Somethings wrong.”

I got off the phone after talking to her, some neighbors, and the fire chief as they transported him to the hospital and had to make the hard call to my husband. We all frantically dropped what we were doing and make the trek to St. Davids in Austin. After a few long, hard, and confusing days we learned that he had a brain tumor that was causing seizures, and they were scheduling him for brain surgery.

The surgery went great and we were on the path to recovery and getting out of the hospital – just waiting for the protocol biopsy. Then we got the call. “Cancer.” That was a shock. We really weren’t expecting that. Then the call with the oncologist brought more shocking revelations. It’s an aggressive and incurable cancer.

After a month of being in the hospital and rehab, he was released. He is home – with us – and in great spirits. He is sitting on the back deck enjoying an early spring day in March with our dog as I type this. He just started his three weeks of daily radiation/chemo treatment and is doing well. Faith, prayers, and time together is getting us through.

He is fully functional and mobile right now. He is in a great mood with an even better outlook and perspective. He could probably be on his own, but we aren’t sure what to expect for treatment so his sons and my sis in law and I – who have been working together, communicating and supporting each other since the beginning – felt it best to have him with us through treatment and probably take turns living with each of us.

Honestly? It’s been the biggest blessing. It is absolutely hard, stressful, and heartbreaking to think about what may come, but it has been such an honor to be a part of this family. It has been a privilege for each of us to work together to love him and support him through this. When hard things come – and they do – it can make you stronger or it can break you . This is making us stronger – together. When hard things come – it can make you pivot and change your perspective. If you’re lucky. We are pivoting and our perspective and priorities are changing. We are appreciating every day and we are thankful for the opportunity to spend as much time with him as possible. Stressed? Yes. AND. It is making us more present and grateful.

Nothing like a life changing event to make you stop, step back and evaluate life. Asking what is most important, what matters most, what lasts and what is the purpose…our purpose. My word for this year is ALIGNMENT and this whole situation and challenge has really forced me (and us) to slow down and really focus on alignment – making sure our priorities and important people match our time and energy.

When I met him and the rest of my husband’s family when we were dating, they accepted me and my kids immediately without question. Not only did they accept us – messes and all – they made us feel like part of the family from day one. They loved us unconditionally. I do not take that for granted for one moment.

He is so loved. His family, friends, neighbors constantly reach out to connect and check on him. People are showing help and loving well. His best friends from his Army days – 55 years ago – just drove 12 hours each way to see him for one night. To witness their friendship and love – yes, love between old friends – was absolutely precious. Mr. Rogers says it best, “What really matters is helping others win, too, even if it means slowing down and changing our course now and then.” And, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

And I am learning from him. Not only is he taking it one day at time right now – reminding us to do the same, but when I first met him, I told him that he and his late wife – who I never got the chance to know – did a great job raising their boys. He said he couldn’t take any credit and that it was all her. He went on to say that she took care of all of them and when she got early onset Alzheimer’s it was his greatest honor to care for her when she needed him most.

Same, Wayne, same.

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